Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
