i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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