May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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