You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
