I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Can you repeat that, but with context?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
