You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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