Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
