I accidentally had phone sex last night
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
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i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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