In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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