Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
