I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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