At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There's always time for handjobs
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
