he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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