I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
