Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
