I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
