Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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