Screwed.edu
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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