His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
