I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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