Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
