At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
