Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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