She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
