haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
