no. you can't hotbox the world.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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