i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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