How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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