We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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