Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
