i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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