He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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