I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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