i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
