tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
