At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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