Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
