either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
