I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
