Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
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Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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