Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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