Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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