He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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