yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize