I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
