Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
