we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
