Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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