No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
