i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
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One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
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Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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