I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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