Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
