Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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