i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
