I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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