God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
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my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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