Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
