Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
he's single and there are thong briefs.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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