I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
