Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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